


Start Again, I Heard Them Say

by boltschick2612



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Trade, Sad with a Happy Ending, Tampa Bay Lightning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-21 00:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16148651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boltschick2612/pseuds/boltschick2612
Summary: The birds they sang, at the break of day.Start again, I heard them say.





	Start Again, I Heard Them Say

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blueabsinthe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueabsinthe/gifts).
  * Inspired by [there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in](https://archiveofourown.org/works/753051) by [blueabsinthe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueabsinthe/pseuds/blueabsinthe). 



> Story takes place about 2 months after Dustin was traded by the Lightning (Feb 2013), and on the same day that Cory was (Apr 2013).
> 
> Written to portray the original story, focusing on Dustin's side of things. 
> 
> Title and summary taken from 'Anthem' by Leonard Cohen. 
> 
> I hope my recipient enjoys it, along with anyone else who cares to read!

Dustin's been sitting still on the bed for what seems like hours, phone all too heavy in his hand. Looking all around him now, at the familiar surroundings that weren't his, he thinks how weird it is for a place to be so recognizable, when it contains almost nothing of his own. It had been a couple months since he’d been shipped off to Hamilton, and still living in a rented hotel room was normal, but that doesn't change the fact that the only things in the room he actually owns are the suits hanging in the closet. 

He showers in the morning with towels he didn't purchase, makes coffee with a machine he didn't pick out, and lays down at night in a bed he never would have chosen for himself. Even the sheets, the ones he's sitting all too still on now, are something he can't take with him once he finds a place of his own. 

He hates that feeling, the one of temporary permanence, the one where you belong somewhere, but yet you don't. He knows that right about now, Cory must be feeling that too, and it's a thought he almost can't stomach. 

Dustin shifts slightly on the bed. He can't help but wish for so many things, even though wishing is a practice he usually dismisses as futile. As far as he’s concerned, there is just no sense in wasting the mental energy on something that might never, or will never, come to be. He even goes so far as to let out a small, sightly snide laugh any time someone starts a sentence with the words 'I wish.’

Against his better judgement, he lets the words slip from his lips now, a harsh and timid whisper hanging in the darkness of the dimmed room. The sound is foreign to his ears, and he's not entirely convinced it was his own voice he was hearing. 

He tries to push the thought from his mind, along with all thoughts of wishes, hopes, and exactly how utterly useless they always prove to be. He knows that all the desire, and all the longing in the world isn't doing to change the cold and harsh reality that Cory had just been traded, and he wasn't even there to comfort him. 

Instead, Dustin has to settle for the cold, impersonal piece of metal, plastic and glass that would connect him to Cory, and let him hear his voice. 

Even as the seconds tick by, however, he knows that just won't be enough. He needs to see Cory's face, push the errant strands of hair off his forehead, and perhaps even kiss away the frown tugging at the corner of Cory's lips, if he were lucky. 

If only that were even possible. 

Dustin's spent so much time wrapped up in his own thoughts, that he doesn't even know what he'd would say to Cory now, if he managed to reach him. He's never wanted to call him more, but at the same time, he's never been more afraid to push the numbers. His mind is stuck, and he doesn't know what to say.

'I’m sorry’ just doesn't seem to cut it, and it certainly hadn't made him feel any better when Cory had uttered it to him only months earlier. He's amazed how it is that two simple words can hold so much weight.

Two words;

I'm sorry. 

I'm sorry that you have to uproot your whole life and move. I'm sorry that you feel cast off. I'm sorry that I can't be there to hold you. 

I'm sorry. 

It’s really the last thing Dustin wants to be saying to Cory, but he's relatively sure the phrase will end up tumbling out of his mouth, whenever he finally gathers up the courage to call. 

Laying down fully on the bed, Dustin knows he can't delay any longer. He needs to hear Cory's voice, and needs to know that he's alright. He punches the numbers in his phone, and presses the call button before he can give it any more thought. 

The phone rings, and rings, unanswered in his hand. Dustin's chest tightens as it goes to voicemail, and he tries to slow his racing heart as he dials once again. 

Thankfully, on the second try, Cory picks up. 

“Hello?" 

"I'm sorry," The words rush out of Dustin before he can stop them. 

"I know," Cory's voice sounds thick, like it's coming to Dustin through a fog. 

Dustin shakes his head slightly, trying to clear his thoughts and collect his words. "Hamilton's only about four hours from Ottawa. I could drive that in a day, easy,” He muses. 

“More like five, D," Cory laughs slightly, and Dustin has no doubt that Cory has already checked. 

There's a heavy silence then, and Dustin can almost feel the weight of it pressing on his chest. He knows that's impossible, really, for something intangible to cause such an effect, but that doesn't stop him from wishing the silence to be over, until finally, it is.

He can hear a long and frustrated sigh escape Cory, roaring over the line.

“This is stupid, right?” Cory's voice is teeming with frustrated exhaustion, and Dustin hates how defeated he sounds. “Who even knows where I'll be? I could spend the rest of the year riding buses in Binghamton.” 

“Maybe, maybe not.” Dustin says, his voice sounding far away and strange to his own ears, almost as if he can't even believe they're talking about it. He paused for a moment, letting his mind settle on something a bit more comforting. “No matter what, we'll always have Norfolk.” 

He hears a small laugh on the other end of the line, and it's fleeting, but it causes him to warm all the same. 

"Trust you to make me smile when I really don't feel like it,” Cory says, his voice a shade lighter than before. 

"That's why you love me."

"I miss you” 

"You'll see me soon," Dustin says. "It'll be like a mini homecoming."

“I know I shouldn't be this excited for the off-season, but I am.” Cory's voice lifts slightly at the end, and cracks. 

“I won't tell anyone.”

“Meet me at the cabin when the season is over?” Cory pleads, and it breaks Dustin's heart just a little more. 

“Meet you at _our_ cabin,” he vows, with a smile he knows Cory can't see, but it's important all the same.

The line is silent, as they run out of things to say. It wouldn't be the first time they've sat there, quiet on the phone, listening to each other’s slow and steady breathing, cut with outside noise. Sometimes, words don't matter, or they're not enough. 

Sometimes, all that matters is the promise of days to come. 

Dustin's mind had been a whirlwind of thoughts from the second he heard of the trade, but for the first time since, he’s able to smile.


End file.
